Lean Bodies and Loud Thoughts
A Summer Reality Check
I’m writing this from Whistler, Canada, where the mountains are ridiculously tall, the people are ridiculously lean, and my inner critic has launched into Olympic form. You know the voice, the one that says, "Look around—everyone here has 8% body fat and wears their hydration backpacks everywhere because they hike all day long, burning calories. And you? You’ve been sitting this morning working, eating, and gaining weight. Nice one, Alice."
I mean, I'm a health professional. I’ve written a book about how to take control of your health. I teach strategic health decision-making. And still… still. I looked around earlier and thought, “I feel like a slob.” Then I thought, “I need to write about this.”
So here I am, wondering: Is this shame? Is this a helpful self-assessment? Is it bad to be comparing in this way? Or is this just me in the moment, an over-caffeinated health-focused (truthfully, I’m obsessed with thinking about health all day) individual staring at a mountain of healthy people and possibly going through an existential crisis?
According to Brene Brown, the queen of all things vulnerable and brave, shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It whispers that we are bad, not that we did something bad. That we are not enough, and never will be. Well, I don’t think what I’m feeling is necessarily shame. But what is it, then?
Let’s unpack this a little because this isn’t just about swimsuits or dinner choices. This is about how we see ourselves in the mirror of others—and how that impacts our decisions, our motivation, and even our sense of worth. If it matters to me, it probably matters to you, too. However, I’ve rarely seen this topic discussed.
The Comparison Trap
Why do we compare ourselves, anyway? Because we’re human, and humans are wired to compare. Social comparison isn’t just a bad habit we picked up somewhere along the way; it’s an evolutionary tool for survival and belonging.
Psychologist Leon Festinger introduced Social Comparison Theory in the 1950s, suggesting that we evaluate ourselves based on how we compare to others, especially when there’s no clear benchmark. In other words, when you're unsure if you're doing “okay,” your brain looks around and says, “Well, how’s everyone else doing?”
Even neuroscience backs this up. Studies show that the brain’s default mode network—the part active when we’re not focused on a task (our brain’s resting state)—lights up when we think about ourselves in relation to others. It’s defaulted into our thinking.
Comparison is not inherently evil. It’s how we calibrate. It’s how we assess, “Am I doing okay?” The problem is that we often compare our insides to someone else’s outsides—and worse, we draw conclusions from a single snapshot in time.
You see a fit woman on a trail and think: “She’s so disciplined. I’m such a failure.”
You don’t see the decade she spent healing her relationship with food. Or the fact that she also battles self-doubt, and maybe she’s thinking the same about you.
Comparison can be motivating. Or it can negatively spiral you into a non-helpful state of despair. The trick is knowing which direction it’s pulling you.
When Is “Better” Better?
To be completely honest, I could be healthier. I could get leaner, stronger, drink less coffee and wine, and walk more. That’s true. But where does that truth land? Does it empower me? Or does it eat away at my sense of self-worth?
This is the tightrope of health: the balance between striving and accepting, between taking ownership and showing compassion, between “I could do better” and “I’m doing just fine, thank you.”
But let me tell you this: You can love yourself and still want to improve. You can be content and still pursue better habits. One does not cancel out the other. Self-respect and self-improvement can (and should) hold hands. Also, remember that one snapshot in time is not necessarily reality or the whole picture. Ask yourself, do you do well most of the time, according to Pareto’s principle of 80/20?
So What Do We Do With This?
We start by noticing when we slip into unhelpful thinking and health patterns, without talking to ourselves with dialogues that we’d never say to a friend. We notice when we let a fleeting thought turn into a full-blown identity crisis (which was me this morning). Observing our thoughts with curiosity allows us to become inquisitive: Where did that thought originate? Is it helpful? When have I felt this way before? “What triggered this feeling?”
We remind ourselves that health is not a single moment in a mirror, but a long, winding journey that includes kale and cookies, wins and setbacks, muscle, and a little extra insulation for winter.
And, perhaps most importantly, we recognize our thought challenges with honesty, humor (always!), and humility. I also want to tell you directly that you are wonderful the way you are. You are not alone. I care about you, not just your body, but your mind. Don’t tear yourself down; you are worth more than that.
The Summer Reality Check
Summer can make us all a little more self-conscious. Shorts come out, and we bear hidden legs of a rough winter. No swimsuit feels like it will ever belong on our body. We start questioning if we’re doing enough, and we are enough.
Stop that. You’re enough.
So let this be a reminder—not just to you, but to me, too—that the goal is not perfection. The goal is self-integrity: aligning how we care for ourselves with who we want to be, not because we don’t care how we look, but because we respect who we are.
So go hike the mountain. Eat the burger. Wear the swimsuit. Then eat the salad. And if you feel a little wobbly in your confidence, know that you're not alone on that tightrope. We’re all navigating shame-like feelings and self-worth, as one skinny, well-built body crosses our view.
And hey, at least we’re thinking about it. That’s the first (and most honest) step toward the true health shift.
In good health,
Dr Alice
A little more about Dr. Alice Burron and Strategic Action Health:
Check out her website!
Catch her on Instagram: @the.health.navigator and @dr_burron
You can also connect on LinkedIn, if you want to be professional about it. 👓
And click here if you want to order the book Health Shift: Your Personalized Guide to Making Strategic Health Decisions
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